Plenty of wedding businesses will tell you they are inclusive. Fewer of them mean it in a way you can feel. A rainbow in the logo for one month of the year is easy. The real thing shows up in the small stuff, long before the big day.
The short answer: genuinely inclusive suppliers show it before you ever get in touch. Their language says “couple” and “partner” rather than assuming a bride and a groom, their enquiry forms have room for you, their portfolios show more than one kind of couple, and they can talk about working with LGBTQ+ couples without it becoming a moment.
If you are an LGBTQ+ couple, here is how to tell the difference up close.
What does their language tell you?
Read a supplier’s website and their forms. It tells you almost everything.
- Do they say “couple”, “partner”, and “you two”, or is every example a bride and a groom?
- Does their enquiry form assume one of each? A form with two “bride” fields, or a rigid “bride and groom”, is a quiet sign that nobody there thought about you.
- Do their photos show more than one kind of couple, or is it the same wedding on repeat?
None of this is about being word-perfect. It is about whether they have bothered to imagine you at all.
Inclusion is a practice, not a promise
The best suppliers do not make a big announcement about being inclusive. They just work in a way that has room for everyone.
- They ask what you want to be called and how you want your day described, rather than defaulting to tradition.
- They are relaxed about you skipping the parts that do not fit, from who walks in to who makes a speech.
- They have worked with couples like you before, and they can say so without making it a thing.
- They treat your wedding as your wedding, not a version of a template they have decided on.
How do you find them in the first place?
The good news is you rarely need to start from zero.
Start with real weddings, not adverts. A supplier’s portfolio and tagged photos tell you who they have actually worked with, which says more than any statement page. Ask recently married LGBTQ+ couples what their suppliers were like to deal with, not just whether the photos were nice. Local queer groups and wedding communities are full of this knowledge, and people are generous with it.
Be a little sceptical of the rainbow filter on the big directories. On most of them, “LGBTQ+ friendly” is a checkbox the supplier ticked about themselves, unverified, sometimes years ago. It is a reasonable starting list and a poor guarantee. A directory where a real person has checked how suppliers treat people is a different kind of signal, and building one is, honestly, part of why My Wedding Vibe exists.
Which red flags are worth trusting?
Most suppliers who are wrong for you will not say anything outright. The signs are quieter than that, and you are allowed to act on them.
- The over-correction. Someone who becomes visibly awkward, or suddenly very keen to mention their other gay couple, is telling you this is unusual for them. Unusual is not disqualifying, but watch whether it settles.
- Constant re-explaining. If you correct a wrong assumption once and it keeps coming back, whether that is a name, a pronoun, or “so which one of you is the bride”, that pattern will follow you to the day itself.
- Enthusiasm that drops. Warm on the first enquiry, slower and flatter once they understand who the couple is. Trust the change.
- “We treat everyone the same.” It sounds fair, but it usually means they have not thought about it. Treating everyone the same is not the same as making everyone feel expected.
None of these obligate you to give feedback or a second chance. You are hiring for the best day of your life, not running a training programme.
What should you ask a venue?
Venues deserve their own moment, because you spend more time with them than any other supplier, and their whole team is part of the experience. Beyond the website check, it is worth asking how the people working on the day are briefed. A venue can have perfect marketing and still have a coordinator who introduces you wrong to every member of staff in turn.
Ask who will actually run your day, and meet them if you can. Ask how they describe the couple to the team, the registrar, the caterers. The venues that get it will have an easy answer, because they have done this before and cared about it. And when you visit, watch how they speak about the two of you in the room. People show you their defaults very quickly when they are walking you round a building.
What about the ceremony itself?
The ceremony is the most scripted part of the day, which makes it the easiest place for a wrong assumption to be said out loud in front of everyone you love.
Whoever marries you, ask how the wording gets decided. A good registrar or celebrant will ask what you want to be called, how you want to be introduced at the end, and which traditions you want kept, swapped or skipped, from who walks in first to whether anyone is given away. Celebrant-led ceremonies give you the most room to rewrite the script, but even a standard civil ceremony has choices in it, and the people who marry couples every week know exactly where they are.
The tell, as always, is whether they offer the options before you have to ask for them.
A fair question to ask
You should never have to interview someone about whether they will respect you. But if you want reassurance, this one works well:
Have you photographed, planned for, or worked with same-sex or LGBTQ+ couples before, and how do you usually approach it?
A supplier who is genuinely inclusive will answer easily and warmly. A supplier who fumbles it has told you what you needed to know.
If you are a supplier reading this
Some of you will be reading this from the other side, wondering how you measure up. The honest news is that most of the fixes are small and free.
- Rewrite your enquiry form so it asks for two names, not a bride and a groom.
- Go through your website copy and swap the assumptions for “you two” and “your partner”.
- Show real variety in your portfolio, and if you do not have it yet, say plainly that all couples are welcome and mean it when they arrive.
- When you get a name or a pronoun wrong, correct yourself briefly and move on. No performance, no lengthy apology that makes the couple manage your feelings.
Inclusion is not a certificate you earn once. It is the everyday practice of making people feel expected rather than accommodated. The suppliers who get that are the ones couples talk about for years.
Where we stand
At My Wedding Vibe, LGBTQ+ couples and the suppliers who welcome them properly are part of the point, not an afterthought. Every supplier is vetted by a real person, and how they treat people matters as much as how good their work is. You should not have to hunt for the businesses who already get it.
That is the whole idea behind what we are building. Come and meet vetted wedding suppliers who will be glad you found them.